easter...

easter was very exciting this year. chase and i had a great idea to give the kids a dog for easter, we created an egg hunt for the kids to do then they would have to figure out the secret code to finally find out that we got a dog. they were over the moon when chase walked in with her. we named her olive and the first day was great! we figured that they would love it, they would be responsible for something, have some stuff they would need to and be expected to do daily, all good things for growing kids to do. well, too bad we didn't for see how not well i would do with having a dog. she was sweet, super good and what i would assume a really good puppy is but i just could not do it, no matter what i tried the anxiety and panic that came with having a dog was intense and something i never ever wanted to go through again. (i previously promised myself i would never feel this way again without seeking help) feeling the way i did and not knowing when it would go away we decide to give her right on back to where she came from. (sorry ash) the poor kids. they were so sad. i felt awful and wish so badly they didn't have to go through that. mya took it was hardest, she was crushed. ayla was sad too but didn't enjoy her nipping at her all the time anyways so she was happy to go back to toting around her stuffed animal chase. the boys did great and had the sweetest little hearts, they just wanted me to feel better so they kept saying it was okay and they understood why she had to go. such sweet kids we have. the instant relief i felt helped make is easier for her to go. so we are once again dog less and will never ever own a dog. i don't know how people do it. it blows my mind. it just isn't in the cards for me and that's okay. took a while to get there but it is okay.

so meet olive... then say bye to olive too...